I keep looking for an intellectual or spiritual solution, when in fact, the origin is physical. I seem to think that fighting this with greater self-awareness and more meditation is the solution, instead of accepting this very physical process. I keep clinging to the person I "was", instead of remaining present with who "I am", now. I grip strongly to the identity I created for I am so fearful of losing that person--to be replaced by this current self that I dislike so very much. In seeking to change, in fighting acceptance, I am simply paving a path of self-incrimination and self-blame that I have done or am doing something "wrong" and what results from this "wrong action" is the current life I live.
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