I am still operating under an assumption of lack, even though I have grown prosperous once again. I have swallowed the American kool-aid of fear about money, "enough", retirement... and choked. How can I feel prosperous when I constantly cling with a death's-grip to the feeling of lack?
I have plenty NOW, but I have forgotten to own and acknowledge this on a regular basis. I have not released the experiences of fear and lack of security that occurred between Spring 2015 and Fall 2016. That single year beat the hell out of me mentally, physically, emotionally, financially.
And so, it is time to remember how prosperous am I and to recall back to me all the feelings --and current state-- of prosperity!
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My focus now is on saving money so that I have a strong sense of financial security--that which has been lacking for two years and a main reason I have felt worn down by life. When I consider life as it is, Now, I am experiencing and feeling so much more security than I did last year, or even six months ago! In all areas of my life, I am more secure! I recognize that staying in one place for a while and growing some roots, maintaining one job and remaining in this one position, staying in one residence and calling it home, all increase those feelings of security. I plan to increase those feelings commensurately with a growing savings fund.
As I recall the current status of abundant prosperity in important areas of my life: health, finance, Hygge (surroundings), creative expression, connection and love, and passé temps (recreation), I remember that I have plenty; I am secure. When I remember that I have plenty and that I am secure, my sense of security, my sense of prosperity, and my feelings of gratitude increase. Coordinating this solution of remembrance with the solutions to feeling insecure about my body size, which is also remembrance, both are reduced to the same conclusion: remember, recall, acknowledge, and be grateful.
My health has returned with Spring. I have given my knee time to heal these past 18 months. I have granted my heart and soul respite and time to recover from trauma and darkness. My Lightness of Being has quietly stolen back to peer around the corner and see that it is safe to emerge. My financial abundance grows and I am savoring the freedom that prosperity offers me. My creativity pours out into my work each day, and at home I express myself in writing, drawing, and creative think-storms! My abode becomes more comforting each month as I add and subtract and arrange to enhance the Hygge of my home. I enjoy coming home instead of being overcome by dread and depression and that feeling of being trapped which I could not escape for 2 years. As my financial abundance and health has returned, I have been able to engage in more of the activities I enjoy, the passé temps and social activities I crave and that nourish my soul and heart. As each month passes, I am closer to fully engaging in activities I love: running, cycling, climbing, Bikram. In fact, I begin Swing classes next week! I will also start Bikram again soon, as well as getting back on my bike! The Light of my soul has re-birthed itself from the vacuum of darkness and thus has returned my inner sense of self-possession, confidence, self-love, and acknowledgement of my own perfection and divinity and connection with all of Life. I am spending time with friends who build me up. I am connecting with students and parents, new friends and old. I have even girded my courage and begun dating again!
I feel emergent. I feel renewed. The coming of Springtime heralds the birds which treble in my back yard as I write this, along with signifying my own blooming and return to Life! Yay!
I am grateful, I am grateful, I am grateful!
I am abundant, I am abundant, I am abundant!
I am prosperous, I am prosperous, I am prosperous!
And truly, I have enough!
There is no lack in my life, so it's time to release that thought!