Live from the end result.
Visualize and imagine.
I'm trying, I'm trying! I lay in bed last night, imagining my reaction to the "You're hired" phone call from Sudbury. This morning, during my normal routine of reading something inspirational/journaling, I let out a loud yell of "Yes!" just like I will do when I get the "You're hired" call. That felt good!
I keep thinking I will be happier when life is more secure and more settled; when I get "this job" and my financial stress ends (or is alleviated with a regular and adequate salary), and when I have $$$ to buy a vehicle and move into my own place. I will feel organized and have a "purpose" and stop feeling like I'm just moving through each day in survival mode/fear mode/dread mode/depressed mode/life sucks mode... I'll feel like I can do things again without fear of $$ or time or whatever.
What I've realized is that I have to live from that feeling now, I can't spend another week with the Pendulum of Waiting swinging over my life; controlling me. That's the main issue: I don't know what's going to happen and it's driving me nuts! I feel like I'm stuck in this Muck of Waiting to start life while I wait for the "right job" to start. I guess I just need to start life. I need to live from the happiness now. Yes, yes, yes, this has been drilled into my head and spirit over and over, but it doesn't hit home til it's needed, I guess...
It sure as heck ain't making anything better! And I can't say there is no prosperity flowing into my life, because I got paid for my second trial week at Sudbury, sold Jerk's bed frame, got a $45 Sprout gift card, and am trying to sell my bike... sooooo... I will stop fighting the present and work on accepting the present.
Didn't I learn this lesson already?