Yesterday, me and my co-teachers were doing lesson planning at school, and I was reminded of how stressed I felt—on a daily basis— at my former school. I always felt I wasn’t “doing enough” or that my lessons weren’t “good enough”. That, mixed with the (partially) toxic work environment made for a feeling of dread that filled me mmost mornings. But putting those aside, we didn’t have much support in class, and so we had to do everything.
As I was considering all that, I felt really grateful for all the support I get in my current school. The burden of every single detail for managing and planning and creating a viable classroom is shared between several teachers. I am not solely responsible for creating and implementing the unit lesson plan, decorating the classroom, or managing behavior. I felt relief and gratitude when I thought about planning for the next unit. I am also grateful for the creativity that flows out of that knowledge. When my find is free from stress, I am definitely more creative, and the lessons are then more creative!
I am also grateful for the friends I have made here in Chengdu! I’ve only been here a short while, yet I feel cared for sincerely by a few people; a path has been started for some authentic friendships. When I feel lonely, I have GFs to call upon! This is especially important because I feel really cut off from family right now, due to recent circumstances. But then again, that brings more gratitude, because while I am cut off from some, others are making up for it by reaching out to me more often. I am grateful for my family in FTW that consistently express their love for me. It means a lot!
I am grateful for prosperity and the many things that are easier in China. I am definitely grateful for the many things that are less expensive in China! And I hope I never forget to be grateful for all the times I have been helped out here, by local people. I am so grateful for all the help I have received from all the Chinese people who have been kind and gone out of their way to help me when I was on the verge of meltdown tears.
I feel grateful and it is a good feeling. I want it every day!!