Reflections of feeling capable and using my thoughts to increase that, rather than remaining stuck in the opposite and feelings of despair and unworthiness.
With all the adversity I've been through the past two years, it has just worn me down and I've found myself doubting my "competence" and ability to succeed, to even make it through life at all anymore. The simple ability to survive and provide for myself has become an overwhelming challenge. Anyway, all this has broken me down and I just doubt myself in every area now. Where I used to be confident in my abilities, now I just live in fear––or rather, was, some has been alleviated, so now I'm in the process of rebuilding.
In talking with friends today over coffee, I realize how much of what goes on in my mind (not really a new realization by any means) begins with self-doubt, fear, despondency... Although I do honestly try to start each day with positive thoughts and "Today I'm going to work out, eat clean, study, be productive in this and that and this, blah blah blah", I still seem to get stuck on the couch, unmoving and undoing, overwhelmed, not exercising, blah blah blah. and then, with The BLAHS! So the conversation was a good reminder that I AM CAPABLE and I need to focus on what I want instead of the opposite and do whatever it takes to maintain those thoughts.
I must begin EACH DAY with an UNSHAKEABLE BELIEF IN MYSELF. I must visualize myself in the teaching position I want, but before that, visualize myself doing really really well during the trial teaching days that are forthcoming at the schools at where I am currently interviewing for teaching positions. I must remember that I AM ALWAYS CAPABLE WHEN I PERMIT MYSELF TO BE. I must "THROW AWAY feelings of despair and unworthiness". First, I must create the thought of what I want, then the reality will follow. It's nothing new to me, this process, but I have been so overwhelmed I have forgotten or neglected the tools I know how to use. Sometimes I feel that "I'm doing the best I can" has become an excuse, and I don't want that. I must "develop a clear-cut idea of what I want to be, hold it firmly in my mind, and then become it"! I must visualize what I want to be, EVERY DAY! (Click read more...)
How can I do that? What works for me, personally? Writing it all down and looking at that list of visualization every morning, and repeating them aloud.
Today, I believe in myself. I am capable.
Today, I want to be outside in nature, hiking and walking everyday, 3 miles or more.
Today, I want to "eat clean" and skip sugary foods.