The point is, if someone is closing the door, I will only keep my foot in it so long before I realize that it's time to let the door close completely. I have to let go. I have to accept that just as I change, my friends evolve also, and perhaps in a completely opposite direction. Perhaps it is my fault: I am too vocal or harsh in my words, I am judgmental rather than supportive, perhaps they even think I am the negative, critical, uncompassionate one... Ouch! And maybe I am. Fault matters not, however. What matters is that I recognize change, and flow with it. I have to allow that person to drift off and away, even drown. Ultimately, it is their choice and I can't save anyone. Perhaps they don't like the color of the lifebuoy I threw... I certainly can't force it over their head.
So I float on, let people pass in and out of my life, taking their own course, while I focus on allowing myself to relax in the river of Life, without struggling. Acceptance. Dark and Light. Highs with Lows. They are all part of the whole, and one cannot be without the other. I suppose one friendship grows and deepens, while the other disaggregates to its end. I can allow that too.
I'm taking my foot out of the doorway.