What this tells me is that I need to drink a lot more.
... move abroad and keep going, and write in my isolation and free time. If I could support myself writing (like starting now, ha ha), live abroad, and not fall into the folly of loneliness, I would. I have too many interests to sit at my desk and write for hours each day, then work on top of that. How did they do it?
I need a patron.